MOVIE REVIEW: AVATAR

Six of Seven Cows

Avatar may just be the biggest movie release of the new millennium, and as such I nearly avoided it. I have a contrarian gene that usually has me straying from the herd, often to my own detriment. Hence, when I’m told Avatar is a “must-see” I immediately go into “who are they to tell me what I must see?” mode. But this week my only option was Did You Hear About The Morgans?, and I wasn’t feeling that contrarian.

             

So Avatar it was, and all I can say is wow. If I could compose the rest of this review by simply repeating the word “wow” a few-hundred times, I would. I believe this is destined to be remembered as the digital equivalent of “Gone With The Wind”, doing for computer-generated imagery what that film did for color movies (and profanity).

            

 We are so inundated with technological advances that rarely do we stop to appreciate them, but this movie was impossible just ten years ago and twenty years ago it would have been peopled with actors in big rubber suits. Now a digital world can be created that seems every bit as real, as organic and true, as the one we see around us. In the hands of a gifted filmmaker, moreover, that world can be the stage upon which a great movie is shown.

            

 Am I saying this is a great movie? I am, indeed. If I were wanting to be curmudgeonly I’d take issue with the fact that when you boil it down it’s really just nearly three hours of left-wing, anti-capitalist, neo-commie propaganda. But, it’s Christmastime so I’m not feeling curmudgeonly. Besides, it’s really, really good propaganda.

            

 Taking place on a distant planet where evil humans have gone to mine for Unobtanium (sound that out – it’s actually pretty funny), Avatar is basically an inter-planetary retelling of the leftist-version of the story of western colonization. There are the noble natives that live in complete harmony with the environment, greedy white guys who prefer employing firepower more than reason, blah, blah, blah… I’m overlooking all of that.

            

 While most parents will find little to complain about, there is violence of a relatively non-gory sort and implied sexuality. The natives do go topless and wear thongs, but seeing as they’re alien creatures I’m not sure that really counts as nudity. On the other hand the blue chick is kind of hot, so you be the judge. I was severely tempted to make this my first seven-cow movie, but had to deduct for the political indoctrination. Still, I give Avatar six enormous blue cows.