MOVIE REVIEW: EAGLE EYE

EAGLE EYE

Four of Seven Cows

This was a tough week to be a movie reviewer. The pickings were slim indeed. First choice was Nights In Rodanthe, which, judging by its incredibly long trailer was sappy enough to make maple syrup with. Second up was Fireproof, a Christian family film that I wish they’d make more of and knew I’d never be able to critique fairly.

                

 That leaves Eagle Eye, another film of a genre that’ll be hard for me to critique fairly. Some things simply don’t stand up to scrutiny, and as a genre action films top the list. They are almost always logically challenged, so unrealistic as to be cartoonish, and more intellectually shallow than your average SpongeBob episode.

                 

Starring Shia LaBeouf  and Michelle Monaghan, Eagle Eye mines the paranoid theme of a surveillance society. There are eyes everywhere; street-cams, satellites, even your own cell phone. Everyone, everywhere, is being watched, and manipulated. Street signs flash your name, televisions send you messages, cranes are controlled and turned into car-crushing killing machines. Not a bad basis for an action flick, and Eagle Eye isn’t a bad way to pass the afternoon as long as you don’t take it seriously.

                

 Still, Eagle Eye suffers from every shortcoming inherent to the action-film genre. The characters, though ably played, are superficial, the dialogue is too cutesy/clever, and the action is unrelentingly tedious. Chase scenes have become so laden with crashes and whiz-bang imagery that it’s nearly impossible to follow the action, which I thought was the whole point of an action film. One chase scene in particular is so long and chaotic that it’s nearly incomprehensible. If you enjoy that sort of thing I’d recommend you stand the middle of a busy intersection and spin around in circles until you vomit, and save yourself six bucks.

               

The cast is good, with LaBeouf showing once again why he’s sure to be a future heavyweight; he just looks like he was bought off the rack at the movie star store. Billy Bob Thorton plays an FBI agent, though his performance suggests he’s just there to cash a check. Still, a lackluster Thorton is still pretty good, though one’s left wishing he’d added more heft to a thin piece of work.

               

Eagle Eye is what it is, a middling action flick that’ll eat up an afternoon in a decent enough manner. I don’t expect much from these sorts of movies, and I’m not disappointed. I give Eagle Eye four cows.